Oh, Bathsheba
by Sam Magavern
Accounts of this got it all wrong. First of all, Uriah the Hittite is alive and well and working as an auto mechanic at Frank’s Parts-n-Service. I divorced him last year, and it had nothing to do with King David. Second, King David and I never had an affair, much less a second marriage. I don’t deny that he loved me first—and maybe last—for my beauty. But people take such a narrow view.
Beauty is more than physical. Nothing made the King happier than to sit on my patio talking, drinking Kir Royale, just talking.
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