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Scorecard: The Week's Winners & Losers
Popularity Index
In what may be the most pathetic performance and embarassing loss of the “Dick Jauron Era” — of which there were MANY eligible candidates — the Bills let lose a real shitter of a game Oct. 11 in their 6-3 loss at home against the winless Cleveland Browns. While not all of the blame falls on the coach (Roscoe Parrish and your “razzle-dazzle”, we’re looking squarely at you), poor execution, gutless play calling and drive killing penalties is indicative of the lack of proper leadership. While team owner Ralph Wilson tepidly stands by his coach (which the Week in Review doesn’t think has anything to do with the estimated $6 million left on the three year extension he signed this offseason) the vox populi sure have made up their minds. The websites firedickjauron.com and firedicknow.com have recently popped up and firedickjauron.wordpress.com has already raised almost $1,200 to pay for a billboard on Interstate 190 imploring Wilson to can both Jauron and general manager Russ Brandon.
With the writing seemingly, and literally, on the wall, the Week in Review presents its’ completely unscientific and arbitrary Popular Approval Ratings Index, highlighting Jauron’s tumultuous travails over the past 20 months and comparing them to those of other controversial figures.
The Week's Winners & Losers
 Decorative Carvings Shortly after its’ unveiling at the Bills’ crapfest of a game Oct. 11, a Canadian fan took the 81/2 foot tall, 1,000+ lb. wooden statue of Bills legend Thurman Thomas from the Ralph Wilson Stadium parking lot. The fan claimed to be saving it from vandals. |
 Gettin' It On From Oct. 15-18 the Grand Island Holiday Inn was booked with hundreds of couples for an international swingers convention. “Entice the Falls”, includes such fun activites as an erotic writing workship, “hedonistic pool party” and of course, a ton of fuckin’. |
 Canadian ThanksgivingIn what was just another excuse for our neighbors from the north to flood our shopping malls, Oct. 12 marked the celebration of the metric version of our American tradition. It’s OK to appropriate our holidays Canada, so long as you spend, spend, spend. |
 Fictional MarriagesThe most anticipated TV nuptials of 2009 went down with a little local flare Oct. 8 as Jim and Pam tied the knot in Niagara Falls (NY!) on NBC’s “The Office”. In other news, two actors acting out a wedding is apparently newsworthy... |
 Pilot ExperienceIn the wake of the crash of Flight 3047 and questions about the sturdiness of its’ crew, Congress enacted new restrictions on pilot training, experience and availability of performance records Oct. 14. Cheers to Louise Slaughter and Chris Lee for leading the charge. |
By the numbers...
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91
Number of new “green” buses to be purchased by NFTA thanks to almost $40 million in federal transportation funds secured by congressman Brian Higgins. The new hybrid and “clean diesel” buses are expected to be phased in over the next 18 months and will represent 20% of the current fleet. |
400+
Number of times a Niagara Falls, N.Y. woman called 911 emergency services on Oct. 10. Nicole D. Liscom, 28, who had no emergency and according to police “appeared intoxicated” and admitted making the calls “in order to go to jail”, was charged with obstructing governmental administration. |
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77.5
Percentage of flights that arrived on-time at Buffalo Niagara International Airport according to a report released Oct. 8 by the Brookings Institute, placing Buffalo 25th out of 100 airports surveyed. The average length of delay for flights arriving in Buffalo was 55 minutes. The average of New York City’s three airports fared the worst overall, with a 66.3% on-time arrival rating. |
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