schwing shift

While surfing the web I accidentally uncovered the fact that a good friend actually makes her living running her own porn site. And this wasn’t just like, ‘See me and my Hubby get naughty!” It was seriously hard core stuff. I care about her safety and well being, and think that this is a real mistake, especially considering it is fairly easy to stumble upon. The circles we move in...well, something like this would make her a pariah among our friends. Not to mention she has been welcome in all our homes, knows our kids, etc. How do breach the issue without offending or embarrassing her? It’s gonna be real hard to keep this info to myself and I’d better tell her that I know, before I tell someone else. Plus, after what I’ve seen, it’s going to be real difficult to be casual around her.

—Surfer Dude

The Straight Skinny: Well, it’s her choice, isn’t it? It sounds like you’re the one who’s uncomfortable about it, and you’re the one who evidently thinks that perhaps sex workers shouldn’t get to come into your houses and see your kids.

What if you discovered that a friend cheated on his taxes? Avoided her jury duty? Sometimes got drunk and told off-color jokes? Would those things be cause for a come to God meeting?

Dining Out says: It sounds like you’re being hypercritical. You were the one surfing the web looking for a cheap thrill. If I were you I’d find a way to block these sites on your home computer since you have kids. Plus, it’s not like this woman is your children’s nanny, nun, or school teacher. She’s just trying to make a decent living in an indecent world. And if the only person she’s producing these videos with is her husband then her medical health isn’t at risk. If she’s prostituting herself, that’s a different story and should be addressed. If I were you, I’d let bygones be bygones and spare relaying this bit of gossip to your circle of friends. It’s not like she will do this forever as age is our worst enemy and sex appeal doesn’t last. She will eventually lose her charms and have to find new profitable outlets like bedazzling jean jackets or crafting ugly hats.

The Practical Cogitator says: Well, the fact that you are trolling enough porn sites to recognize your gal pal sure puts you in a porn-corner, doesn’t it? If your friend is making her living off running the site, maybe she can throw you some work! A little side money never hurt anyone, and getting paid for something that’s already your hobby...well, even better. So, I suggest clicking the ‘contact us button’. Your friend will know that you know, and she’ll also know that you’re into porn, so you’ll both remain casual. Unless of course, she becomes your boss.

Dr. Sigmund Fraud says: Back when I was working in porn, you had to get involved with a decent production company, which meant you had to travel out to the San Fernando Valley. Theater people went to New York, country singers went to Nashville, starlets went to Hollywood, and free-spirited show-offs with unique talents or features went to the Valley—it was that simple. Now, it’s like anybody with a Web cam can become a star...and I’ll tell you something: the art form suffers because of it. I mean, visit a porn site today and ask yourself, where is the plot? Where is the pacing? Where, the mis-en-scene? Back in the day, we worked hard to flesh out our characters. OK, I’m the pizza delivery guy...what’s my motivation? Right? I’ve gotta deliver X number of pizzas a night to make it worth my while. Do I get distracted by this bored bimbo who greets me at the door in see-through underwear, or do I give her her change and hurry back to the pizzeria to make more money? You had to take that moment. You had to make the audience believe that you were torn—that you were up against an existential dilemma. And she, too, had to make you believe that she really meant it when she told you she ordered extra sausage. Without that, there’s no magic. And that’s so much of what you get in today’s porn. Simple acrobatics and parlor tricks. I just don’t understand it.

But, just out of curiosity, how do you make money running your own porn Web site?

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