family scrap

My father and my husband recently had a major blowout. My father came to pick up a tool that had been left at our house, but my husband had grown sick of it laying around and took it to a scrapyard. Both of them are angry, and I feel caught in the middle. Help!

—Dadgummit!

The Practical Cogitator says: Your husband took the tool to a scrap yard? Don’t you have a basement? or a garage? Who throws tools out? He couldn’t have driven it over to your dads house instead of to the scrapyard? or called to say come and get it? And how did it get “left” at your house? Was this a borrowed item?

Seems to me like you and your husband know what to buy your pop for Father’s Day.

The Objective Observer says: I am assuming that the tool was left at your house because it was being used at your house.

Your husband had no right to throw a tool away that did not belong to him.

In fact, it sounds like he might have wanted to intentionally anger your father. Did he not know who it belonged to?

I think he should go out and buy a brand new whatever-it-was, and take it over to your father with an apology.

park crashers

So all these New York State Parks are closing, just in time for spring and summer. Woodlawn State Park, Knox Farm State Park, Joseph Davis State Park, Wilson-Tuscarora State Park, and Long Point State Park—closed.

I know several people who’ve decided to ignore the roadblocks and go into the parks anyway.

At first I thought they were crazy. I pictured them all getting tickets, or getting arrested. Then I realized they were right. It’s just morally wrong for the government to buy land with public money, open that land to the public, and then close it to the public. Under what authority can they do that? The public paid for the land. Done deal.

Now, by putting up a sign we’re supposed to believe we can’t walk on the land we paid for? Bullshit.

I have another friend who agrees with me, but he says that no matter what, you’ve got to obey rules. He thinks it’s a bummer that they’re all closed, but he won’t be joining me as I go parks-crashing this weekend. I think he’s a wussbag. What do you think?

—Fence Jumper

The Objective Observer says: I think you are absolutely right. The state should not keep people from using the land. The taxpayers money bought the land, and now they want to tell us we can’t go there? It’s infuriating! Albany has mismanaged the state right into the ground.

The only problem I see is with no one maintaining these parks, they might become a pretty big mess if people just go there anyway. If people were responsible enough to clean up after themselves, and carry out any trash they create, it could be fine. But chances are that won’t happen. These places could quickly become littered with trash.

There are plenty of other places to go and enjoy, but I know this seems like little consolation. It’s a bad deal all around. Perhaps if they didn’t get such huge raises all the time, among plenty of other wasteful spending, there might be some money left to actually run the state.

Ruthless says: I just did almost get arrested at one of those closed parks. So, here’s my real advice: Do not park in the empty lot adjoining said closed park, when you are the only vehicle there. Do not have contraband on you. Do not be drunk. Have a valid driver’s license. Do not carry a concealed weapon. Have an updated inspection sticker and registration intact. The cops can be pretty damn patient, considering. It’s not usually a sober, law-abiding type who comes up with these plans, now is it?

Morally wrong or not on the government’s part, Your friend who says “no matter what you’ve got to obey the rules” may be speaking from a practical, not a moral, perspective. Get arrested and you’ll just end up giving the county more of your money, and you still won’t be able to go to the park.

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