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Scorecard: The Week's Winners and Losers
by Zachary Burns
The Week's Winners & Losers
ObfuscationHaving already tried to use bureaucratic technicalities to quash a vote to downsize the Erie County Legislature from 15 to 11 members, now election commissioners are simply trying to bury it. All referenda on this year’s ballot will be placed on the back. What’s next—heads we win, tails you lose? |
Unenviable JobsOn Oct. 14 former Buffalo resident Mohamed Abdullahi Mohamed was appointed prime minister of Somalia, taking the reins of arguably the world’s most failed state. Plagued by 19 years of civil war, corruption, and near anarchy, Mohamed’s job is even less desirable than having to run this city. |
Bed BugsThere’s nothing you can do, we’re all screwed now. The bloodsucking pests, which have infested cities across the East Coast, have been relatively unseen in Buffalo—until now. Three rooms at the Adams Mark Hotel were treated for bugs last month, but management insists the problem has been controlled. |
Terrorism Preparation175 members of seven local agencies took part in a nightime training exercise on Oct. 18 on the Buffalo Metro to help prepare for a terror attack. Right now a bunch of terrorists sitting in a cave are laughing their asses off at how police focus on them, while our citizens actually terrorize each other. |
Winning By DefaultThe first and only governor’s debate went down on Oct. 18, and thanks to the invitation of five fringe candidates, including this wacko above, proved to be a pointless—albeit hilarious—waste of time. Carl Paladino kept out of the headlines by not saying anything stupid, so that’s essentially a win for him. |
By the numbers...
7.9
Millions of dollars in New York State Department of Education grants that will go to four of Buffalo’s seven lowest-performing schools. The move, announced on Oct. 19, will give $2 million each to International School 45, Bennett High, South Park High, and Martin Luther King Jr. Multicultural Institution. |
12
Sheet pizzas tax cheat and owner of Casa-Di-Pizza Joseph Jacobbi must provide Buffalo City Mission on a weekly basis, every Tuesday for the next year—enough for an estimated 192 diners. A state supreme court judge on Oct. 18 spared Jacobbi of serious jail time for failing to pay state taxes on $104,000 in profits and, in addition to restitution, delivered the unorthodox punishment. Jacobbi pled guilty to third-degree larceny in April. |
240
Pounds of marijuana seized by police while executing a search warrant on Oct. 15 at the home of Antoine Parker, 34, of Cheektowaga. In addition to the pot, which had an estimated street value of $430,000, police found $330,000 in cash and four handguns. By our calculations of the polices estimates, all that pot breaks down to roughly $112 dollars per ounce. It’s been a long time since college, but either their estimates are off or that sounds like dirt weed. |
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