For breakfast—Holy Toast! The Visionary Bread Stamper: Before putting your boring Wonder Bread in the toaster, give it the Holy Toast! treatment. This cast iron stamp will make an impression of the Virgin Mary on the bread, glorifying the final product with a divine image of the mother of God. Holler an “Amen!” as you dress Mary’s golden visage with your favorite preserves. Available at worldwidefred.com.

For lunch—Built NY BYO Lunchbag: This lunchbox for grownups, created by the company that created the incredibly popular neoprene wine caddy a few years back, insulates food and drink in two separate compartments. When you’re ready to chow down, it opens up to a placemat for a potentially embarrassing, albeit cutting-edge, lunchtime treat. Available at builtny.com.

For Snack time—The Dough-Nu-Matic: It’s like Krispy Crème for your countertop! This product automatically completes nearly all of the steps to making hot, fresh doughnuts without the perils of burns from deep fat frying. You simply put some dough in the hopper and some oil in the reservoir, and fire it up. In no time, delicious treats pop out the other end of the machine for human enjoyment. Retailing at about $130, it is a completely unnecessary, yet novel kitchen tool that next to no one will ever purchase for themselves! Available at skymall.com.

For Dinner—The Octodog Frankfurter Converter: The answer to your problem with the boring hot dog comes in the form of the Octodog, which converts a plain old kosher frank into an edible octopus. While it isn’t entirely attractive, it does have a purpose: Hot dogs are quickly and easily sliced for safe consumption by young children who often choke on the classic hot dog coins. Available at octodog.net.

For a late-night snack—ABC (Already Been Chewed) Cookie Cutters: These ingenious cut-out cookie creators will turn plain old cut-out cookies into a treat that no one at your holiday party will touch: Each mold has what would appear to be a bite already taken out of it! People will search for an untouched cookie, but will never find one, thus leaving all the snacks to the tricky baker. Cutter varieties include gingerbread men and a variety pack with a heart, a star, a flower and a disk. Available at worldwidefred.com