BAILOUTS GALORE

My girlfriend lost a bundle on the stock market last week. She doesn’t always tell me when she’s down, and I don’t know exactly what she did, but I get the sense that she must’ve moved a lot of money out of her fairly diversified portfolio into one or two stocks that tanked. I am much more conservative in my investments—so much so that she laughs at my government bonds and gold. Here’s the problem: She’s been hinting more and more strongly that she wants me to cash a lot of that in and direct it toward more high risk stocks. She says that if we’re going to be together, she’s going to need to win back what she just lost. It was her future as well as mine, she explains. That’s it in a nutshell: She wants me to bail her out.

I think I love her, but is it my responsibility to cover her losses? She hints that if I don’t, our relationship is in danger of total collapse.

—”Fed” up

The Sales Guy says: It is one thing to go high risk when the economy is purring along nicely. It’s quite another to invest when the top financial minds in America are hemoraging assets and chugging cough medicine to dull the pain. Your girlfriend unfortunately has a gambling addiction. Kindly inform her that you thankfully do not and although sorry for her economic setback will not join her in monetary suicide.

And if she has a real problem with that, repeat the famous line of Tom Hagen from The Godfather: “It’s not personal Sonny, it’s business.”

Roller Girl says: Needs to win back what she just lost? Honey, you don’t win at the stock market. You “win” at the slots, but that’s a rigged game. And if you make a lot of money, how is that her victory anyway?

This is not sound financial planning. Nor is it a good basis for a romantic relationship. I understand that she’s upset, and perhaps you should try to console her in some way, but playing the stock market like a slot machine, especially in the current climate, is a recipe for unmitigated disaster—and a bitter end to a relationship. Keep money out of it. Her logic is disastrously skewed and she’s far, far too upset to make a logical decision. Don’t let her pull you into it.

And if your refusal ends your relationship, at least you can blame the market and be free from the tedium of yet another Crazy Ex story.

Little Ms. Altruist says: You worked hard to earn that money and you invested wisely. It’s not your responsibility to cover her ass/assets. Since you’re not married, why should your love life have anything to do with your personal finances? If she continues to pressure you about becoming her personal piggie bank, tell her to seek a treasure-filled trough elsewhere.

The Practical Cogitator says: Your gut instinct is telling you that this is a bail-out or else a total loss, (the relationship, that is...). I suggest you bail right out of the relationship, and paddle away with your conservative financial stability. If she had made a killing in the Stock Market would you have benefited? Or would she have been laughing at your gold and CD’s and conservative investments. If you only think you love her, then you’ve got your answer. You’re not married, for better or for worse. Seems like your getting a taste of worse...and in plenty of time.

The Gay Perspective: Either way, this relationship is in danger of total collapse. Cut your own losses and move on.

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