Meatballs and Mascara

Sunday, October 25, is a big day for the Imperial Court of Buffalo: the 17th Annual Spaghetti Dinner. That’s when members of the Court don their solid sequin aprons and dish pasta instead of gossip. It’s when you’ll see the empresses in five-inch stilettos balancing trays loaded with their secret sauce.

(They have to hold those trays high to clear their beehives, and if two of them should ever collide it would be be linguine imperiale all over everyone. The biggest bibs wouldn’t be enough to keep it out of your hair and your lap—a little might even land on your plate.)

The fun and food are served 4-8pm at the Hamlin House at 432 Franklin Street. The Court is indebted to Hamlin House and to the lovely Sharon and Nancy for making the hall available for so many of the Court’s functions, which raise funds for AIDS charities. The Hamlin House is a great place to put on a show, and the wonderful performers of the Court will put on a show at the drop of a feather. They’re all working their way to Broadway.

The dinner costs a mere $10. It starts with a crisp, fresh garden salad accompanied by Italian bread baked by the Empress herself. Then comes the pièce de résistance, a queen-sized pile of that luscious linguine doused with that secret sauce and liberally sprinkled with grated Italian cheese. Lastly there’s coffee and decadent, delectable, homemade desserts from all the kitchens in the kingdom. It’s a meal fit for the royal family and their lucky guests. Reservations are not necessary, so bring your whole family and all of your neighbors and friends. A guaranteed good time will be had by all.

—danny winters

PS: If you want your waitress to lip-synch “Let’s Get This Party Started,” just say the word. Drop of a feather, remember?